


So Soft on My Bed

by caffeinechesters



Series: Broken EP [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, Episode: s05e04 The End, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinechesters/pseuds/caffeinechesters
Summary: Lucifer was fascinated by him since the beginning.





	So Soft on My Bed

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song "Physical (You're So)" by Nine Inch Nails on the Broken EP.

Jess is a ghost that haunts his dreams, forever twenty-one with sun-kissed wavy hair and perfect. It’s she’s been dead for longer than he knew her. It makes him ache in ways that he’ll never vocalize to anybody living but rather choosing to let it burrow deeper inside until it spills out of mouth to random stranger at a bar. Dean was always right about him and alcohol and how he is maudlin after a couple of shots. Dean is’t with him now. Dean blames him for ending the world (and he isn’t wrong his mind supplies).

Tonight is different. He dreams of Jess in bed next to him and her touch feels real, not a whisper of a memory half forgotten. He wishes that this was real with her alive in his arms as he kisses her. She backs away from him, eyes unreadable, almost something very old and eldritch behind them. Confusion strikes him because in his dreams, it’s a little slice of normality and safety. Before he can wake up, Jess brings him back in with a kiss. In his dreams she tastes of the fresh cookies she bakes and the tea she prefers, soft warm mouth and plush lips. Tonight, Jess tastes of charcoal and blood; her lips feel colder than the tombstone he kissed the early morning before leaving Stanford forever. He tries to pull away. Her grip is stronger than in life, pulling him towards her. Jess crawls on top of him, kisses him, devours him. He feels weak in the knees all over again like the first time Jess was in charge. It’s fast and sloppy and afterwards he feels relaxed and sated more than other dream of Jess has left him.

He turns towards her afterwards and even though she is a dream, he has to tell her that he still loves and misses her. And always will. He feels vulnerable after sex, a little candid, while changing his position to sit on the edge of the bed and adds that people can change. The mattress squeaks as he feels her shift into a sitting position. Her hand grasping his shoulder as her voice unwavering tells him that people never change and about freeing her. He turns to see Jess’s evaporate, glamour disappears, and a man is sitting where Jess was is radiating cold that reaches to his soul. He gets up, heart in his throat, hyperventilating. This is a nightmare. It has to be a very weird, very vivid nightmare.

The man tells him that he knows who he is. “Lucifer” comes from the depths of his soul or the lizard brain that senses danger, he’ll never know. The man looks sorrowful about this (it never reaches his eyes, he thinks) and his predicament of being his vessel. He’d rather die. He’d rather be eviscerated across the stars than be the vessel, be the one to actually end the world. He tells Lucifer that. He mimes sorrow as his mouth gleefully tells him that he’ll bring him back. Lucifer wants him to say yes, pressuring him like a bad prom date that won’t take no. He speaks of finding Sam not in dreams, but rambles about being hard to find (and if he ever meets Castiel again, he’ll wash Castiel’s feet with his hair). He starts waking up, feels the adrenaline kicking in finally, when Lucifer apologizes. It’s strange to wake up fuzzy with the Devil apologizing. Instead he goes back to the bar to work.

Later, after the hunters forced demon blood into him (and he spat back at them even though every cell, every fiber of his being was telling him to swallow), he leaves town without saying goodbye to Lindsey or anyone at the bar. 

He checks into another motel an hour away. He’s okay. He’s fine. He’s not either when he opens the door to see Lucifer standing in the room. He shuts the door not to draw any attention because he’s unsure of what Lucifer will do. Lucifer is pressuring him to say yes when he draws his gun. Lucifer laughs and laughs and laughs about how that won’t kill him. Instead, he eats his gun. It only hurt for an eternity until everything faded black.

He wakes up in the bed, Lucifer beside him, cuddling him. He tries to get away. Lucifer grips him tight, talking about suicides and blood loss and not to get up so quick. He dreamt of his suicide he thinks until looks up at the ceiling to see an splatter of blood and brain matter. His breathing picks up and Lucifer kisses his neck, coos about that it won’t be that easy, about the last thing, the last great gift, God gave him was his perfect vessel and how beautiful it is. 

He feels powerless as Lucifer pulls him over on his back. He feels helpless as Lucifer strips the both of them. He tries to fight but instead he feels limp and weak as Lucifer reminds him of the blood loss and maybe not giving him all the blood he lost back. Leverage he says he kisses down his neck. He tells Lucifer no, frantic, hoping that he’ll wake up again. Lucifer is careful in opening him up, speaking of how he wants this to good for him, good for the both of them. Lucifer speaks of how exquisite of final gift this is for his father to give him and how he can see why certain angels came to fornicate with the hairless apes as he fucks into him. He’s dizzy and confused and ashamed when he feels himself harden and drip precome. He feels worse when Lucifer hits a spot inside of him that makes him feel sparks and heat. He cries when he feels himself come and cries harder when Lucifer kisses away his tears. When Lucifer finally comes, he plans of ways to die that even an angel cannot reverse. He feels hopeless as he feels Lucifer’s come leak out him and Lucifer’s fingers try to push it back it and play his used hole. He feels used when Lucifer finds his prostate and forces an orgasm out of him. He keeps telling Lucifer no until he loses his voice. 

He loses track of time in that room. When Lucifer isn’t playing with him, finding out what makes him tick, he finds ways to commit suicide in the bathroom. Near the end, the tiles are caked in dried and fresh blood, part of his scalp is still caught in the drain. The room itself smells of sex and rot and it makes him gag every time he has to breath. Lucifer leaves when Dean calls him about meeting up again, but not without leaving a parting gift: he’s fully healed without any trickery to make him say yes. He kisses him one last time and foretells that they will meet in Detroit when he accept his fate. He destroys the room completely.

By road near a bridge, he sees Dean for the first time in what feels like lifetime. Dean tells him that they keep each other human. That they will create their own future. He keeps mum about Lucifer and his prophecy about Detroit.


End file.
